Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Proving Myself

Recently I fell.

When I wear clothes it burns.

I can't shower.

Today I sat down in the bathtub in seven inches of warm water. I spent thirty minutes scooping handfuls of water onto my stomach, chest, and shoulders. As I washed my wounds clean, I could see the water change.

Swirls of scarlet twisting down around my legs. Soon the entire tub was a deep, transparent red. I sat their, frozen.

I wish I could really describe to you what it felt like. My whole body ached and burned. I was completely vulnerable. I pulled the stop, and let the crimson water out of the tub. I hoisted myself slowly to my feet. As I gained my balance, I found myself staring in the mirror at myself, broken.

I know now, that I am fragile. I can bend, but I can also break. I am thick skinned, but my skin has proven to be rather thin.

What a miracle we all are. Living and breathing. Thinking and acting.

and breaking.

and fixing.